We are builders of our own characters. We have different positions, spheres, capacities, privileges, different work to do in the world, different temporal fabrics to raise; but we are all alike in this, — all are architects of fate.
John Fothergill Waterhouse Ware
Where does the Dissatisfaction with Our Appearances comes from….
Historically, the ideal female body was strong and full-figured, as seen in icons such as Marilyn Monroe. Yet even as early as the 1800s, when painful, health-impairing corsets were used to accentuate the breasts, hips and buttocks, women were expected to strive for a specific ideal of beauty. In the 1900s, the American public became more consumed with the thin, boyish physique, viewing full-figured women as indulgent and lacking in self-control – a trend that grew exponentially by the end of the century. In modern times, we’ve witnessed a “thin at all costs” movement that now defines Western culture. Millions of women have had surgery to change the shape of their breasts or increase/decrease their size. A strange phenomenon?
Shockingly, these are the actual words young women are saying to themselves on any typical day. According to a new exclusive Glamour survey of more than 300 women of all sizes the research shows that this dialogue plays on a constant, punishing loop. It has been proven that on average, women have 13 negative body thoughts daily—nearly every hour. And a disturbing number of women confess to having 35, 50 or even 100 hateful thoughts about their own shapes each day.
Beauty is the characteristics of a person. Outer beauty is what physically attracts others towards us, but it is the inner beauty that is more important and which defines who we are. This beauty is hidden under our skin and can be seen only if we make a choice to exhibit it. There is more emphasis for outer beauty and what investments need to be made to look beautiful. This has created a stress among people who are striving to look beautiful. Therefore, much emphasis is made on the clothes and accessories we wear and the make up we use, not forgetting all the attention given to the hair and body. Outer beauty does not help to anyone unless it is coupled with inner beauty.
Why is Being Beautiful So Important?
Today, the media has a more powerful influence than ever before, sometimes taking precedence over friends, family or other real women. In the old days, a young girl grew up wanting to look like her mother or best friend. Now she wants to look like Angelina Jolie. Herein lies the real damage. The more an individual is exposed to the media, the more he or she believes it is reflective of the real world. What most people still don’t realize is that the majority of the pictures they see in magazines are altered in some way and that looking like their role models is physically impossible.
In reality, as the prettier gender, women seriously limit themselves. It seems like we are our own worst enemies because we really and truly are never satisfied with ourselves, what we have done, where we are going, or anything else. For example:
A woman with curly hair wants straight hair.
A woman with straight hair wishes she could have curly hair.
Short women wish they were more “statuesque”
Taller women wish they were more “petite and doll-like”
Some women want to be more skinny. Other women lament that they are too skinny and can’t seem to put weight on.
Some women are outspoken and worry they are too aggressive. Other women are soft-spoken and lament that they are shy or “weak”
Can we give ourselves a break? Where does all of this disappointment and frustration come from?
As we all know, the kingdom where mediation, inner peace and beauty were born is Tibet. The Asian culture of calmness, balance and self-control (martial arts) has flooded western world in a 21st Century educating the public that not outer beauty is what matters, it is the inner beauty that glows in the dark! Who we are inside, reflects on whom we are outside. As a product or service, it goes as a full package, no more no less.
It is vital therefore, that you follow few outlined below steps to start re-discovering yourself!
Rewire your brain and think outwardly.
If you know that constantly thinking negatively about your body teaches your brain to focus on the bad stuff, why not flip the script? “It’s absolutely possible to create neural pathways that favor affirming thoughts,” says Kearney-Cooke.
Ask yourself: Is this really about my body? Or am I trying to distract myself from being upset with someone or something else?
Exercise and spend time in nature! Survey respondents who worked out regularly tended to report fewer harsh thoughts than those who didn’t. And it’s not just that being physically active improves your shape and health; it actually boosts your mind-set, too.
Say “stop!” and accept yourself—do not allow your mind to go negative.
Never lose hope and embrace your beliefs!
Remind yourself that obsessing about what you eat or look like doesn’t make you look any better.
Learn the power of a smile!
Appreciate your body for what it does, rather than how it looks.
Keep learning about anything that surrounds you.
Play up your strengths. “Comparing yourself with others doesn’t help anything,”
Live in the present moment “Carpe diem” – Seize the day!
Meditate! Meditating for 20 minutes daily can have an enormous impact in all areas of your life.
“To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven. Don’t wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now”. Alan Cohen
Let’s then together start this journey and re-discover our true beauty; and at the end of this adventure, we all will be able to say: I am finally content with myself again!